Don’t Jealous Me
Some folks will be envious of you not because of anything you’ve done but because of the choices they’ve made (or haven’t). Actually, that’s what it is 99% of the time; however, what I mean is that someone will be mad at you for going out and living your life because they made a choice that precludes them from some aspect of it.
For instance, I spent much of my life traveling. I was always somewhere. I was extremely fortunate because it allowed me to experience different sights, cultures, people, etc. People were always jealous. Most people were thrilled for me to be able to experience these things at a young age, but there were always people who were wrapped up in envy. Sometimes these people didn’t have a passport, sometimes these people couldn’t afford it, sometimes these people had young children… the list goes on. Now in the age of the pandemic, I see people traveling when I wouldn’t, and yes, sometimes I get jealous. I miss canned air. Sometimes I get upset, especially when it’s border-free recklessness. I have no control over others’ travel choices.
I had no control over the things that prevented those who envied my travel from their own exploration and, yet, I was the object of jealousy. People are mostly going through life, ingesting symbols and sentiments, then projecting their frustration with them. That’s the heart of jealousy.
While this frustration turned inward can produce profound bitterness, turning it outward in the form of prolonged jealousy isn’t positive, either. Everyone gets jealous at some point or another, even the most enlightened individual. It should not be a source of shame but an opportunity for examination. When I get jealous, I’m usually dealing with feelings of low self-worth and irritation. I feel that I am limited in some way and I am chafing against it.
Over time, I learned that most of the things I envied were already within me or within reach, and quite often, they are not things that I actually want. I want the feeling associated with it, the security associated with it, and probably whatever vanity boost it entails.
Whenever I get envious, I recall the words of our sage and prophet Jordyn Woods: “I don’t need your situation.” You never know what people have done to get what they have nor do you know what having it actually feels like. Your situation is more than enough. My situation is more than enough. There is plenty of our own lives to focus on without analyzing and appropriating others’. Doh jealous nobody, I urge you in my strongest Trinidadian accent.
